On Motivation, Tilting and Ego
While streaming Overwatch I've been asked a significant amount of times how do I not tilt. I usually say something about fighting and getting use to being hit in the face and how it helps me deal with tilting but I finally got around to thinking about it and how to put it into words. To be perfectly clear, I'm sure there are multiple ways to learn how not to tilt/get upset but this is the method I believe that helped me the most and the great part about it is that it has actual progression unlike players and coaches saying "just get over it" , "get thicker skin" or "don't be mad".
Before anything everyone needs to understand that when I say "I do not tilt at all" is a lie. It's unreasonable to try and divest yourself that much from something you're putting effort into. Not getting upset is one thing but don't fool yourself that you won't feel anything. It's not a healthy goal nor a reasonable expectation, you'll never get to that point and since we're working on motivation you'll be hit even harder by not accomplishing this impossible goal. To prove this point last week at the start of season 29 I was at a 25% win rate. Of course it felt like shit, there's no way it wouldn't but that didn't mean I let it effect my play or put my motivation into a downward spiral.
There's no real easy way to get rid of tilting but it is attached to the ego. I'm not talking about the ID or psychology ego, I'm talking about your pride. As stated before I'm sure there are plenty of ways to address this but I'll tell you what I've went through and hopefully that will help whoever is reading this out.
Looking back what helped me the most was when I took Aikido in college. While Aikido has a bad image we can leverage that to illustrate my point. When you see the terrible youtube clips of Aikido practitioners it'll look like they are throwing themselves for the other person. While sometimes true we need to look why this lie happens. It comes down to the three major timings of a martial technique and the consequences of each. The three timings are before the technique, after the technique and with the technique. What you're seeing in those clips are people that are reacting before the technique is being applied to them. I can almost guarantee what has happened is that these practitioners have been thrown this way thousands of times and sometimes they've been behind the technique. What being behind means is that the technique was done to them and they were thrown by their joint, most likely suffering some sort of joint damage or injury because of it. This causes them to move ahead of a technique to protect themselves and not get hurt while training. Being ahead of the technique is safer but it leads to poorer training(for multiple reasons) while being behind the technique can lead to pain and injuries in the long/short term. Moving with the technique is the best timing but by far the most difficult option. It's the pinnacle of timing which I cannot emphasize how difficult it is in an actual fight to get.
What the hell does this have to do with the ego? The only real way to train 'with the technique' is to understand when you've been bested and a technique has happened to you. If you keep fighting after a technique has been done all you're doing is spending extra energy and making the technique worse on yourself. You can apply this to striking but it's best seen with grappling and throwing. I've seen more injuries by students resisting after leverage was secured for a throw than anything else. It's this process of knowing when someone has gotten you that addresses the ego. It takes a lot of work to admit to yourself that it happened and (with training) to give up the ego quickly in the middle of a confrontation. By giving up the ego you can move your thoughts away from trying to fight your way out of something that has happened to what can I take advantage of this situation.
With the ability to give up the ego you also gain the most useful tool I've ever gotten in martial arts. The calmness and ability to understand what's happening while a technique is happening to you. If I've been "gotten" and have admitted that to myself then I can focus on other things when a technique is happening. At first you'll learn to roll and fall to protect yourself but eventually that comes natural, what comes next is key. You learn to be calm while something is happening to you. You've dealt with the mental issue by giving up the ego, with rolling and falling you've dealt with the physical pain so what do you now with this extra time you've gained? You start noticing flaws, counters and are generally more aware during a technique. All of the previous are useful but I like to think of it in a more general sense. I'm spending the time most people are fighting a losing battle, panicked or getting hurt to learn and observe. I'm getting twice the amount of training than your average person. If two people train for 10 years and one just "gets thrown" while the other actively observes then one student will have a massive experience difference.
This is the mindset that allows me to not tilt as much as other players. I know when I've lost a confrontation and my ego isn't effected as much. I don't try to move "before the technique" and give up to reduce the pain to my ego (this is 90% of OW players). I don't fight "after the technique" by yelling at teammates and looking at everything in hindsight for an excuse (this is the same 90% of OW players). I try to learn and identify openings while losing but that doesn't mean I'll start winning. I can easily keep losing but there's no shame in that. You're not the best at whatever you're doing so you better be ready to lose, even if you are #1 no one stays up there forever. It's human to make mistakes and skill waxes/wanes over time. You can even have good and bad games where nothing at all changes.
You're still going to get upset at yourself and that's fine, that will happen. You can't separate that feeling completely and you shouldn't. I believe being extremely analytical and writing off every loss as a learning experience is just as bad as being extremely egotistical and thinking every loss is everything but your own fault. In both cases you're creating a coping mechanism to cover your failure. The hard truth of it is you need to accept the loss and feel a little bad about it but don't mull over it and beat yourself up because of it. At the end of the day all you can do is train properly and then hope that your training works during the live exercise. If it does, keep training. If it doesn't, keep training.
That being said, not all of this prepares you perfectly for getting punched in the face but it sure as hell helps you get the proper mindset before getting to that level. Small steps help you achieve larger steps.